The dark room screams fear, loneliness and self doubt.
I have recently been inspired by some videos about panic attacks and anxiety. I think every body knows what it feels like to feel anxious, but how do you know when it becomes a problem?
When i was younger I used to go into a shop and literally panic i didn't have the right change. If after my tenth count i still wasn't sure would hop out of the Queue to re-count, even though i knew subconsciously i was OK.
Places to eat were a huge deal. New places were a no no. (ex-boyfriends can vouch for me on this, I'm sorry! ha) Even with family i would feel my stomach turn.
I was a hugely secretive person (still can be) which really does not help with getting panicky. Everybody has their secrets but when i knew my secrets were not normal i worried.
My mother hen constantly drums into my ears how sensitive i am and how easily i get upset, but i knew and still realise i need to mellow out.
My life has been somewhat rocky, but everybody has challenges they have to face. It wouldn't be life otherwise. Recently i am beginning to learn....talk to that girl that smiled, she may only want to be nice. Go to that new restaurant, whats the worst that could happen? Don't be scared of change!!!! This one I'm still working on.
Anxiety is just doubt. I have such low self esteem it does not help, but as soon as you feel confident great things will happen.
Secrets shared. Over and out.
. Andrea x
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